My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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