she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
