how can u be prego again
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
