how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
