Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Are we still banned from the library?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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