I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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