your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
