dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
