I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
