every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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