Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Be still, my beating vagina.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
