Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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