Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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