Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
