I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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