Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
