this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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