Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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