I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
