O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
