Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize