im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
