I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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