my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
