I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
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