yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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