Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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