He had one of those small greek statue penises
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
