Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i will never coherently bang her
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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