if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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