I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
then he tried to convert me to islam
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My vagina is officially offended.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
