two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Too much gin, very little bucket
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
