It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
