She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
