im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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