I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
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