Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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