your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
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Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory