I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
