before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
