I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
