So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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