You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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