I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ketchup is God's man juice
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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