She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
