Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Do vagina's smell?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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