i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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