there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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