Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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