i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
