How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
