And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
