eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
