I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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