He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
