My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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