it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
