I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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