i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
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Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
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This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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