I want to have your abortion
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
