I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
