i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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